


cursed

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Feels, Cupid Oh Sehun, Limbo, M/M, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: why would a boy step out of the bounds of time just to take away the arrow stuck in his heart? must be faith, he smiled for the first time in a thousand years.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19
Collections: Anonymous





	cursed

Someone had tried to shoot him down out of jealousy and power.

So he landed in the land of the living.

A human girl saved him and let him stay in her hut.

He knew he didn’t need his love arrows to fall in love with her.

The nature of a cupid was being alone.

Of course, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be with another.

The job required cupids to stay on task and constantly checking up on their targets.

Precision was key to being a cupid.

One had to shoot people in the heart.

It had to be the heart.

He had never known what it was like.

But he knew what the heartache was as he stared at her cleaning his wounds and cooking for him.

Just her being with him was enough.

But the woman already had a husband, and she never seemed to be flattered by his advances.

He should have just ended it there, but he loved this woman so much, he planned to use the eternal arrows on her, so that they’d be together forever in every reality possible.

If that moment meant he couldn’t be with her, then the next life he would be.

However, he didn’t have his arrows with him since he was taken by surprise in the attack, so he left her one day when her husband was coming back – leaving his feather with her as a gift and promising to return in another life for her.

Of course, the woman didn’t know he was a heavenly being.

But when he came back to heaven, they were already waiting for him.

With his brother’s eternal arrow, he shot him in the heart, sealing the eternal arrow between him and the earth, making sure the younger could never be with anyone else but the earth that stench with his own blood.

He was stuck in that garden since.

▲

Every day had been the same.

The fresh flowers in the air.

The blue sky above him.

The arrow dripping with his blood was a sight he had to endure for all of eternity.

Blood would always pour out.

Even if it shouldn’t work that way.

Evidently, with blood constantly leaving his gaping hole in the heart, he can feel his skin wrapping around his bones.

Although he had hoped that he would explore intimacy in a different context, to no avail, he was stuck in time like this, intimate with the aching pain.

Someone promised him it would be forever.

Someone else told him he just had to wait.

He didn’t know which to believe.

And it had only been 30 days.

▲

It had been 2 years.

He tried everything.

Everything that he could do just to make that one difference, but he could muster was silence.

All of this for what he thought was best for the person he loved most.

And here he was rotting away forever in a peaceful land.

They think it was a joke.

Just to spare him the pain, they put him at _rest_.

A beautiful place for him to endure this chronic pain that was in his heart – figuratively and literally.

The only thing he could do at the moment and probably for the rest of his life if this were to be counted as living, was to recall the past.

Let it play like a broken record.

All for his lover.

All for nothing.

▲

200 years.

Was this even accurate?

He wouldn’t even know if he’d lost count.

But at the back of his mind, he knew it’d been exactly 200 years.

He didn’t understand himself.

Why would he count?

Was it even worth it?

What was the point of counting?

To brag to whoever comes to him?

Stuck here this way for 200 years.

A great achievement in life.

If only he had a stick like this arrow, he would have just killed himself right then.

▲

_Oh, wouldn’t you look at that the same thing!_

It’d taken a toll on him.

Not that surprising – considering the fact that he was subjected to his own thoughts all alone in this world.

Was that another person?

In the same body?

Stone cold he used to be, sassy he was now.

_Oh, all the murder, I’ll commit if I ever get out._

The other self was silent.

Like he always was.

▲

How many years had it been now?

300?

400?

_Well, it’s definitely not any of them._

_I lost count, buddy._

_Enlighten me with your arithmetic skills, Skilled One._

**623 years, 140 days, 23 hours, 25 seconds, and ticking.**

_Wow, you’ve gotten better at counting._

**Fuck you.**

_It’s still something at least._

▲

The cocky one was silent this time.

**What is it?**

**Cat got your tongue?**

That one had been torturing him all day with his annoying voice.

Like an arrow in the heart wasn’t enough already.

He tried calling him back out.

This was definitely different.

The only changes that had happened in this realm were of his own insanity, the other self in him.

The other persona popped into his mind one day – he was glad, ecstatic actually.

Finally, something different, but that lasted for about 2 years when that persona started to really invest in hatred.

The other self went dark faster than he did.

It’d been 500 years for him, and he was still going, but the persona had 2 years and erupted.

Just like that.

He kind of liked it at first, but it finally dawned to him that the other persona had been the only one changing in all this – no matter how gloomy he got.

“Who goes there?”

A small voice called out.

It wasn’t his.

▲

**Help.**

It was inevitable.

He had tried moving his lips for 900 years, and they still didn’t work now.

It was a boy.

It had to be.

That wasn’t his voice, or is it?

Did he make another one out of his insanity?

“Hello?”

**Who is this?**

**You got a name?**

When he heard rustling grass getting closer and closer, he got excited.

**No, you’re just another voice.**

**Another person.**

**You’re going to torment me just like he did.**

**I won’t listen to you.**

**I can block you out.**

**I can-**

“Why are you crying?”

**You’re me.**

**You’re a part of me.**

**You’re not real.**

**This is-**

**This is…**

“I thought you’re dead, but you’re not…”

He _felt_ this boy.

A gentle touch.

“I… I don’t know what to say. I-”

He hadn’t felt anything but pain for almost a millennium.

**Oh, was that my…**

“You’re breathing. You’re bleeding. What happened?”

The boy had one hand through his hair, the other inching closer to his heart, but never got too close.

He drew back.

**You touched my hair.**

“I don’t know where this place is? A dream?”

He got distracted by the beauty around the place that contrasted the frail body beneath him.

**Don’t stop.**

**Please.**

“Please stop crying. Is there anything I could do to help you?”

Did the boy not see how ugly his corpse was?

**No, stay away from me.**

**You’re a dream.**

“I don’t know if this would help, but…”

His dried lips had never felt anything softer and sweeter than his smaller ones.

▲

“Oh, no. Nothing happened. No…”

It was too quick.

He didn’t even get to see him.

Then, he felt his body dropped from the boy’s laps and heard his stomping feet getting further.

**No.**

**Stay.**

Panicking was all he could do.

That was the realest thing he had ever felt.

He couldn’t bear listening to him walking away.

**Please.**

**Stay with me.**

**Don’t leave me.**

**I-**

“Oh! My god! That was so dumb!”

Apparently, he was stomping around the garden where the cupid’s body laid bleeding profusely.

“You’re not a frog. You’re not sleeping beauty. This is so stupid. I’m so sorry. I thought this was some Disney thing. Oh, no. Can I just not embarrass myself in front of everyone even in a dream for once?”

For once, he saw him.

He was glad to have been stuck this way when his eyes were open.

If they hadn’t been, he would have missed seeing his face.

A kitten was the first thing that came up in his mind.

“Oh, no. And you witnessed all of that, too. I can’t!”

He heard the flowers getting crunched underneath his weight as he saw him laid back.

“Hey, you’re not crying anymore…”

The boy had sat back up and noticed the absence of his gleaming tears.

“Umm, I guess that worked?”

The boy flushed prettily. 

His face was redder than the rose garden he saw in the distance.

The sweet boy laughed nervously.

“I don’t know what got into me. That was my first kiss, too. Ah~~”

**Cute.**

**Wait a minute.**

It was also his first kiss.

▲

“Wah, this place is beautiful. What is this place?”

His soft curls flowed with the wind.

He had no idea what kind of clothes he was wearing, but he was lean and slim in the strange uniform either way.

Then again, it’d been 900 years.

**Wait.**

**This is-**

“Wow, time moves pretty quickly in here.”

The boy was stuck here with him since that day.

But he didn’t know how long.

He lost count.

**What have you done?**

“Oh, look. It’s about to be night time again. Don’t you love it when the sky is filled those sparkly stars?”

The boy turned away from the sky and looked at him.

**What are you doing to me?**

“I think I’m stuck here with you.”

▲

A deep sigh.

Not a depressed one, but somewhat relief?

“I don’t know why, but I just have this feeling, you know. Like I’m here for a reason. I don’t know what’s going on. What this place is. Why you’re dying, but never die. How I end up here… It’s just...”

**You’re…**

“I just feel like this is the right thing to do, you know? Sometimes, things just happen and you just go with the flow – not questioning anything that is out of place. In this care, the arrow.”

**What are you?**

“I feel like I shouldn’t be calm seeing a man bleeding from his chest with a giant arrow plunged deep in the wound, but I don’t have that feeling of urgency seeing you.”

He felt it again.

His hands.

This time the boy was bolder.

Combing through his hair, the boy watched in awe at how soft his cropped hair was.

“Feels jagged – who cut your hair? You’re in this traditional clothing. You must be from another time. And if my research on television drama is right, then your hair must have been longer than this.”

**You feel nice.**

“It’s fine though. I like guys with shorter hair anyway. Then again, from where I come from, most guys have this short hair, so I’m not comfortable with men who have longer hair than me. I think I’d get jealous irrationally.”

**If that’s what you want, I’ll make sure it’s short.**

**Forever, it’ll be short.**

▲

He could see through it.

He knew the boy wanted to take out the arrow.

The boy had been eyeing his heart for quite some time now.

But he was hesitant.

And as if he had read his mind, the boy spoke up to him with a smaller and softer tone than usual.

“I’m afraid. I feel like you’re my friend. And if I-”

He looked down at the arrow.

“You might fade away. I might hurt you even more.”

**You never know until you try.**

“I want you to stop feeling this. I want you to live… or die if it’ll stop the pain, but what if I make worse? A bigger wound and you don’t die from it. Then it’ll be all of my fault.”

**I promise it’s not your fault.**

“What if… what…”

**The worst that could happen is you leaving me, but if that’s a part of my punishment, then so be it.**

**At least I got to know you.**

▲

They couldn’t go anywhere but stay in the same place.

He didn’t complain.

How could he?

All of the boy’s ramblings made his days dealing with his punishment easier.

Despite his constant talking, the cupid still sometimes let his mind wander back to the woman he once loved.

There wasn’t anything he could to get her back anyway.

She must be dead by now.

Human were weak, he thought.

Such frail beings he once mocked.

Looking at himself now, he wondered who got the last laugh.

Definitely not him.

▲

“This feels like it could last forever.”

**Surprise.**

“I suppose you’ve been longer than I have.”

**That was not something you should say out loud.**

“Since all you can do is cry anyway-”

**Now, that’s extremely rude of you.**

“Cry if I should stop.”

The boy’s hands were wandering close to his bleeding heart.

This was the moment.

He wanted to leave.

He’d always wanted to leave.

It’d been so long.

But would he end up leaving the boy alone out here?

“If you’re thinking about leaving me, it’s fine. It’s not like I’m the one who’s bleeding eternally.”

He wanted to cry at the sentiment, but he couldn’t, afraid to send the wrong message.

**You don’t even know me.**

“You’ve suffered enough. It’s time for you to go.”

The boy ran his hand through his hair once more.

**Why are you being so familiar?**

“You can rest now.”

The moment his hands gripped the arrow shaft, he felt a pain stronger than all the years he spent in the garden combined.

**Stop.**

**Please stop!**

**This hurts!**

**IT’S EXCRUCIATING.**

**STOP-**

“I can’t pull it out.”

He tried over and over again, yet to no avail, the boy couldn’t do it.

It was as if it was stuck in the ground.

“Stay with me. This will be over soon.”

He felt his delicate hands tap his chest reassuringly.

The first time he felt his heart beating against someone else’s hands.

The boy fueled with pure ambition grabbed the dying corpse of the cupid up by the shoulders and pushed him up from behind with all of his might.

All of his strength was put into sitting the cupid up, and the boy still hadn’t gone halfway yet.

This man was so heavy.

Clearly, another feature of the man that made the boy question his being.

What seemed like forever, the boy was finally facing his back.

The golden tip of the arrow sticking out of the heart was prominent – there was no denying.

With one hand, the boy held on to his shoulder while the other sneaked up to the front and clutched the arrow shaft once again.

**Wait, why are you pulling from behind?**

He was crying at this point, but he couldn’t scream.

He couldn’t tell him that he didn’t want this anymore, but the boy was behind him.

**You lied to me.**

**You said you’d stop if I cry.**

**This is unbearable.**

As if the boy had heard what he said, his trembling voice spoke out.

“I know you’re hurting! But staying in this place isn’t what you really want. I’m just doing what your heart truly wants!”

The boy was weeping as much as he was.

He tried and tried, pulling with all his might.

The boy didn’t want to see the man cry.

It would be his excuse to stop this.

This was the right thing to do.

It had to be.

It was then that he felt something landed on his back.

**No…**

**What have you done?**

**What have you done!?**

The boy had fallen over the golden arrow tip.

He had pierced himself with the tip, draping his smaller body on to the cupid’s back.

Right in the heart.

**You’re bleeding…**

**No...**

“This was a mistake.”

The boy could barely breathe and talk anymore with the blood spilling out of his lips.

“This is the only thing I could do to forgive myself for hurting you.”

**You idiot.**

**Why?**

**What have you done!?**

“You feel oddly nice for a man who’s dying.”

There was a giggle while this was happening.

Then again, there was only silence except the boy’s voice intruding the peacefulness of the garden.

“Goodbye, old man.”

**Don’t leave me.**

**Please.**

**Why are you so selfish?**

**Why are you leaving me here all alone again?**

**No, I don’t want to be alone again.**

**Why are you doing this to me!?**

“I’m so sorry. I wish it could have-”

The boy was coughing harder now.

“Things could have been different.”

He, then, felt his arms embracing him from behind.

A final touch.

This moment he could never forget.

He had never been held this way before.

He wished he could stay in this moment forever.

“Goodbye…”

▲

If someone had told him that one day he would cry harder than a baby, he would laugh at them - insulted them even.

How dare you look down on me, he would say.

Him?

Crying?

He was the happiest he could be from the start.

This could never have happened.

But in the end, he did.

He could feel the strange warmth against his back.

Was is it just the boy or was it the boy’s blood damping his hanbok worse than he could?

He was losing hope.

He was going to spend a thousand years more, but this time with the boy he grew fond of was now stuck to his back.

Of course, it was never enough to torment him with the arrow, but this also. 

It was then he noticed the light shining from below, right where his bleeding heart was.

The arrow was glowing.

It was disappearing.

This arrow.

For a thousand years, he had no idea what this arrow was.

But it was disappearing.

This could only mean one thing.

**You’re going to be okay.**

**“You’ll be alright.”**

His hands came to his lips.

He could speak once again.

**“Wait-”**

His hands.

He could move his hands again.

This time, he tried moving his whole body, and it worked.

His limps were moving.

**“You did it.”**

He then tried to move – to turn around to look at the boy.

The flesh.

The skin.

He felt alive again.

He was rejuvenating.

**“You… You did it. Come on, wake up. Stay with me.”**

His heart was whole again, but it wouldn’t be the same if the boy didn’t stay.

**“Don’t play games with me now.”**

He was still crying.

Tears wetting the boy’s dying face as he held him in his arms.

Was this what it feels like to hold someone close after so long?

**“Wake up.”**

He knew the boy was going to wake up, but he was really taking his time.

Defeated, he spent the time studying the boy’s features.

The boy who saved his life.

The boy that gave him a new meaning to life.

The boy that gave him a second chance.

“Who… where am I?”

**“Right where you belong.”**

It took him a few minutes, but the boy had this recognition look in his eyes.

**“In my arms.”**

“No… this has to be a dream.”

**“I keep telling myself that about you.”**

“You’re… pretty.”

The boy was still breathless.

The boy’s heart still ached even when the arrow was gone, but that was the point of it.

It was supposed to hurt.

**“I know.”**

He chuckled through his hiccups.

Crying wasn’t exactly his forte. 

“You’re real…”

**“I am.”**

He leaned into his hand as the boy traced his fingertips upon his cheek.

And when the boy smiled, he couldn’t stop himself from embracing his small body in his arms.

This feeling.

This overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement from hugging the boy was too much for him.

Was this the love he had been missing this whole time in his existence?

As he drew back from the boy, his gaze remained fixed on him.

Nothing was important at this point.

**“Be mine.”**

There was silence for a moment.

Looking away dumbfounded at what he said and unable to hold his intense gaze, the boy replied softly,

“Umm… no.”

**“What!?”**

“I said no.”

**“Human, don’t play with me.”**

There was a prominent frown on his face, but his eyes held no anger.

**“Don’t tell me you already have a lover, too.”**

“Too?”

The man sighed deeply – eyes never leaving the boy’s features.

**“I once fell in love with a married woman, and I had to give her up.”**

The boy, then, suddenly laughed cutely at his sad face.

**“You’re mocking me now?”**

“No, no. It’s just that you look so much like a lost puppy it’s hilarious.”

**“You think this is funny.”**

Suddenly, he was all up in the boy **’** s face – looking up down, eyes to lips.

He was inching closer than she liked.

“NO! I’M NOT MARRIED. I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND. STAY AWAY!”

**“Ah… all the more reason, I should take you right now.”**

“Don’t.. don’t come near…”

The light in the boy’s eyes went away immediately and was replaced with fear.

His smaller hands began pushing him away – his legs thrashing.

All of a sudden when he thought the pain was gone, there he was - feeling his heart wrenched at the boy’s scared and horrified look.

**“Oh… sweet one… Don’t be afraid of me now. You saved my life. I could never do such a thing. I would never hurt you. I was merely taunting you.”**

The man brought the boy close once again as he patted him on the back softly.

It took him a while, but the boy did stop moving and relaxed against him once again.

“Oh- okay.”

**“It’s alright. I’ll protect you with my life from now on.”**

He pulled away and looked straight into the boy’s eyes.

The boy flushed again.

**“You’re so…”**

The man drew out his breath – sounding desperate and hopeless.

**“Why don’t you want me back? You said I’m pretty. That must make you love me, right? Is it my clothes? Is my hair not short enough? Or do you already have someone in mind? What is it? Tell me, human. Anything I can do to have you? What -”**

“Stop! Stop! Stop!”

He waited for the boy to speak.

The boy still didn’t look at him.

“It’s... too quick.”

His frown lessened – his lips parted.

“It’s- well, I’m- It’s not… Ah~~”

He watched the boy as he hid his face in the cupid’s chest – squeaking at his own stumbling words.

“For god’s sake, I- I don’t- I don’t even know your name. You don’t know mine. We’ve been like this for like 5 minutes- This is-”

**“Oh Sehun.”**

“Huh?”

**“Class name, Oh. First name, Sehun.”**

Finally, the boy had the courage to look up at his angelic face.

“I’m… my name… I don’t know.”

A tremble in his melodic voice. 

The boy’s eyes were glistening with tears already.

**“What do you mean you don’t know?”**

“I don’t know my name. I can’t think of it. It’s right under my tongue, but I don’t know. It’s not coming to me…”

Sehun felt this dread once more.

**“No matter. You can just stay like this with me. Forever. I don’t mind.”**

“Oh, Sehun-ah…”

The way the boy said his name with so much love…

That must mean he wasn’t going to leave the cupid alone, right?

“I can’t help but think that there’s someone out there waiting for me to go back home.”

**“No… No, I won’t let you. I just got you in my arms. This is insane. You’re not going to leave me here alone again.”**

The nameless boy was about to reply when the boy sensed the sky got darker and felt himself being lifted up – higher and higher and higher.

“Oh my god!”

It was the cupid’s wings that blocked the moonlight.

Grey and majestic – they were moving and piercing through cold midnight breeze.

There was a rough patch on his left wing, but the boy didn’t dare ask what happened.

The boy could see the entire garden from up in the sky.

The clouds were soft when they flew into them.

**“There.”**

The boy looked down to the foot of the mountain.

There was a beautiful lake right beside the many cherry blossom trees.

“Wah~~ This is amazing and pretty…”

Sehun let his wings hover in one place, showing how the vibrant flowers falling from the trees contrasting the sharp green grass and the clear blue lake filled with koi fish.

The boy’s face was filled with delight as he watched the beautiful cherry blossom flowing with the wind, dancing upon the grass, floating in the lake underneath the chilly night sky.

The cupid then landed and let the boy run around.

Hypnotized, he kept his eyes on the boy as the smaller boy basked in the rain of cherry blossoms.

His strange blue uniform stood out easily.

His curls danced to the beat of the cold and gentle wind.

**“We can stay here forever. I’ll build a castle here for you, and every spring, the most beautiful cherry blossoms will always bloom just like this.”**

**“Be my husband.”**

He was standing in front of the boy now – towering his tiny figure without problems.

**“We can spend an eternity here, you and I.”**

The boy let him take a hold of his smaller hands.

**“Please…”**

Sehun could feel his newly healed heart beating loudly against his ears.

This moment – every moment with this boy, the boy that saved him, the boy gave him the world back.

Just the thought of being with him thrilled the cupid.

The boy, however, returned Sehun with a sad smile.

“Sehun-ah, just like these cherry blossom trees, their flowers wilt away. Not forever they’ll stay…”

**“No…”**

“I have to go back home, Sehun-ah.”

**“No. I’m not letting you.”**

The cupid held him close – being stubborn in giving the boy up like a child being denied to keep what he holds dear.

“Sehun-ah...”

The boy, then, coughed up blood.

**“No! What’s happening?”**

The boy landed on his knees, and Sehun was immediately by his side, holding him.

The man laid the boy on his laps and tried to help soothe the violent coughs but to no avail, the boy kept on spilling blood from his lips.

**“You’re dying… I can go up and seek help. This-”**

“Sehun-ah, stop.”

The boy brought his hands to the cupid’s saddened face, and Sehun responded eagerly to lean into his touch.

“You know we can’t be here together. I have to go home.”

Sehun cried at the sight of the boy he loved hurting.

**“Why… why does it have to be this way?”**

“Tell-”

The man wept harder when the boy coughed a lot more than he should.

“Tell me something about you, Sehun. To help me remember you.”

It took him his will power to stop acting like a child and start talking.

**“You must be wondering about what I am.”**

A sombre tone in his voice as he calmed down.

“An angel?”

Sehun chuckled softly – somehow afraid that it might add to the pain the boy was feeling.

**“Close enough, but no. I’m a cupid.”**

“A cupid? I thought they’d look like babies.”

**“There are six classes of cupid: Il, I, Sam, Sa, Oh, Yuk. I’m in Fifth Class. The first class one look like babies.”**

“The difference?”

**“First class have 3 kinds of arrows. First one is the simple one. Second one is the lead arrows. Difference between first class and the rest is that those babies have the lead arrows.”**

“Lead?”

**“We all have a list of lovers we have to pair. It’s not hard, but the arrows have to hit them right in the heart. That’s why love hurts.”**

Sehun held the boy closer and watched him smile a pretty kitten smile.

**“For the list, we use simple arrows. The lead arrows are the ones that do the opposite of what most cupids are supposed to do. They break lovers apart. It’s a nuisance, especially since children basically have the privilege to use them.”**

“Does that mean they shoot whenever they want?”

**“You catch on quick, sweet one. Yes, there are no rules for breaking up lovers. First class can do whatever they want. Most of the times, they break up lovers depending on their moods.”**

“That’s very mean…”

**“But there’s another kind of arrow. The Golden Arrows.”**

The boy noticed Sehun smiling, strangely hopeful in his expression.

**“They’re special. First class have 3 of them, but the rest have only one.”**

“What makes it so- so special…”

He ignored the coughing and simply continued.

**“This can be used on both the lovers on the list and those who aren’t on the list.”**

“The cupids can choose which couple then?”

**“Yes. Many lovers are predestined, but we can create a miracle for those we deem noteworthy.”**

“Ah... I guess that’s why there are some couples that are just… out of place.”

**“Hey! It’s called love! No boundaries.”**

The boy giggled at his defensiveness despite his frail state.

**“And did I mention you that golden arrows can be used on cupids themselves?”**

It was then that the boy seemingly remembered the arrow he had pierced himself with and squealed into the mischievous cupid’s chest.

**“Yes, we’re bonded with the golden arrows.”**

Making the boy face him once again, Sehun softened his voice.

**“They’re eternal bonds. Those who are shot with these arrows will be lovers forever. In any life, they’ll find each other and be together.”**

“What about the lead arrows?”

**“Lead arrows can’t break eternal bonds. There’s a reason why they’re called ‘Eternal’, sweet one.”**

“Then… Are we soulmates?”

That somehow made Sehun’s face reddened.

This boy really didn’t need to do anything to make the cupid love him more.

**“Yes. Yes, we are.”**

It was serene for them like this for a while until the boy started coughing again.

**“I would have been able to find you if only I had your name… Cupids can’t step into the land of the living unless they have a soulmate. And to do that, they need to know who their soulmate is… Why is this happening to just the two of us?”**

“I can still call out to you, right?”

**“Of course, but I can’t find you or get to you if you don’t call out my name…”**

“Sehun-ah… Oh Sehun…”

**“Yes, just like that… but a lot louder.”**

Sehun held the boy’s hand and pressed it against his face to feel the boy once more.

**“I can’t help but feel that I’m not going to see you again for a long time. I have to wait again, don’t I?”**

“If you say that we’re eternally bonded, then we have plenty of time, don’t we?”

It was getting worse, and he could tell that time was running out.

“Can I see your wings again before I go?”

The grey silver wings spread in front of the boy upon requested and wrapped themselves around his dying body.

His feathers were soft, smooth, and silky.

**“Promise me. Promise me you’ll be mine the next time I see you.”**

“Sehun-ah…”

The tears spilling from his eyes were both of happiness and torment.

“I’m already yours.”

**“My love… no...”**

The boy was starting to fade.

The fact that both of them accepted the painful reality must have helped the boy leave this place.

With all his might, he held the boy closer one last time – if he just held on a little longer.

“See you on the other side, my love.”

**“I love you.”**

But the boy was already gone.

▲

He was there alone – weeping in the wilderness for heaven to hear.

▲

_“Oh, my god! My baby! Jongdae-ah!”_

A familiar hug he received.

The many tubes hung around him while his body was still.

And if he hadn’t heard wrongly, then 10 months to be exact – the time he’d spent unconscious and stuck to a machine.

Everyone around him told him that he was the best thing that ever happened in their life, trying to be thankful for coming back to them and trying to look sympathetic.

A part of him thought that coming back was more than what he had ever wanted, but there was something else gnawing at him from the inside out.

Another part of him thought that this was a terrible idea and that he should have never come back.

It felt like he’d left something very important behind.

▲

Blind dates were always a burden to him.

Jongdae obviously understood his mother’s need to match him up with some guy to his taste, but this was too much.

Mother was just pushing him now, and Jongdae didn’t like being pushed around.

“Mom, for the millionth time, stop sending these pictures. They’re all horrifying.”

_“But honey, you need to get married. You’re getting old now. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a woman. I need to know you’ll be safe and cared for.”_

“I’m 28. That’s called being old.”

_“You haven’t dated since high school. This needs to get checked out.”_

Jongdae almost dropped the dish into the sink.

Good thing he was done with lunch or else, nothing would’ve entered his stomach.

“Mom, you always complain about me and boys, so I stop having anyone for you, and now you want me-”

_“Yes! Because it’s the right time now!”_

“I’ve never dated anyone. Properly before. All of this was your doing.”

_“Really? The last time, you said you didn’t want anyone anymore was not because I stopped you, you just weren’t interested in anything.”_

Jongdae’s eyes welled up with tears at the statement. 

He couldn’t understand why each time anyone brought the idea of a lover, Jongdae felt this unbearing pain in his chest. 

_“Honey, don’t blame me. You can’t blame this one on me. You said it yourself. You’re not seeing other men or women because you don’t care about them.”_

His mother’s word struck a chord hard and deep – right in his chest.

_“I’m worried about you, honey. What happened? Did you have a bad breakup? Should I make an appointment for you with your therapist?”_

Jongdae could barely breathe all of a sudden.

“Sorry, mom. Gotta go send- Send some emails. Boss’s errand.”

Jongdae spent the rest of the day motionless in his bed, feeling like he was in a coma again.

Every time he thought about being with another man, something pierced through him.

His everything hurt.

Jongdae didn’t know what it was, but he just couldn’t stand being someone else’s lover.

▲

Jongdae was digging through the sealed up cardboard boxes in the basement.

He decided to throw away his high school uniform.

He should have done this a long time ago, throwing it away.

It reminded him of the crash, reminded him of when his life took a turn for the worse. 

The constant nightmare he had.

The pain his heart that he couldn’t explain. 

A wooden box, then, came into view.

It looked rather special.

Jongdae had this burning curiosity, wanting to see what was inside.

_“Jongdae-ah, have you seen my phone? Oh.”_

“What’s this?”

_“Oh, my god. Honey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something for a very long time, but I couldn’t find this box, so I never have.”_

His mother then kneeled down next to him and grabbed hold of the box.

_“Holding onto this special box was our family tradition. Well, for the female ones anyway.”_

Jongdae never knew his household had something like that.

Well, there was the house and the wealth, but not something this specific.

_“This is the lucky charm of our family. It’s been passed down by many generations is what your grandmother told me and what your great grandmother told your grandmother.”_

“That must be like what? 40? 50 years old?”

_“It’s probably longer than that. This protects everyone in our family from harm. The places we moved to always feel safe somehow. But there’s another thing.”_

Jongdae never really thought his mother’s superstition could go this far, and the thing about the house was probably a coincidence anyway.

_“If a woman in the family is hurt, this can help. But it was told to only work if the situation were to be extremely dire.”_

“Only women? Sexist.”

_“I’m not joking this time, Jongdae-ah. If it’s something that can’t be fixed. Something that is beyond one’s control.”_

His mother was actually serious about this.

_“Honey, 10 years ago, you were in that coma for those 10 months! They were about to pull the plug on you when we were running out of money, so this was the last thing I could do to save you.”_

Opening the box, Jongdae found a very shiny looking quill.

_“1 day. 1 day after I prayed for its help, you came back to me. Even the doctors were shocked. A young boy that small could have never survived that car accident, but you did. And you recovered faster and better than anyone else who’d been in that kind terrible crash.”_

A feather saved his life?

_“I wanted to tell you this, but I misplaced the box. It brings good luck, so I’ll pass it onto you now.”_

Jongdae looked questioningly at the feather.

_“Oh, honey. Your dad is waiting for me downstairs. We’ll be back tomorrow. Take care, okay?”_

“Yes, mom. Safe trip.”

It was bright silver.

The light actually bounced off it.

His fingers naturally gravitated towards the object as if something was pulling him to it, but the closer he got to it, the more the pain at his chest.

Consequently, Jongdae closed the box and went upstairs after he got his high school uniform.

▲

In this winter day, he felt colder than normal even if there was a hint of sunshine.

Jongdae had parked his car near the park, so he could watch his favourite frozen lake glistened underneath the fleeting golden sunset.

He took a seat beneath the huge willow tree covered with the crystal white snow.

His mother had insisted that he brought the lucky box with him every day now, to wherever he went.

And ever since then, Jongdae started feeling closer.

He didn’t understand what he was closer to, but he kept for safekeeping nonetheless, growing fond of the strange calmness that the box gave him despite the initial heartache.

But he never dared open the box, fearing the dysphoria that came from seeing the feather.

This day, however, Jongdae got curious.

The feather was there – taunting him, every single second, now more than ever.

When Jongdae lifted up the feather, his skin tingled.

He could heart birds chirping.

The lake wasn’t frozen anymore.

There were cherry blossom petals falling everywhere; the ground beneath was covered with the pink flowers.

It felt like he’d been in this place before.

There was someone sitting beside the lake.

The man was taking his time setting his bow and arrows aside with his wings idly spread out on the green grass.

The silver wings taunted him.

Were these made out of the same feather?

“Who goes there?”

The winged man seemed to have heard his voice, but Jongdae noticed that he couldn’t really see him like he could.

Looking at him made his heart beat even faster for no reason he could explain.

This strange had on a business suit which prompted Jongdae to finally question what was going on with this place.

Jongdae should be freaking out, dreaming about a different reality, but he was calm – happy, even.

Filled with a different kind of energy altogether, Jongdae approached the sulking man beside the glistening cherry blossom lake.

**“I hear your voice, but you don’t call out my name...”**

Holding up a beautiful and huge golden tipped arrow, the man kept ramblings.

Suddenly, Jongdae started seeing flashes of a man lying dead with an arrow stuck in his heart.

The memories.

These weren’t his, were they?

But why did they feel so real?

**“Oh Sehun... I’m Oh Sehun. I’ll repeat my name every second for eternity if it means you need reminding.”**

“Oh… Oh…”

Jongdae was suddenly back in the cold winter breeze.

Oh Sehun.

10 years.

What had he been doing all of this time?

“Oh Sehun.”

Did they have to wait this long?

“Oh Sehun! Oh Sehun! Sehun-ah! Sehun-ah! I miss you! Come to me! Oh Sehun! Please! Sehun-ah! Oh Sehun!”

His legs gave out and sat down on the huge powder of white snow, feeling the raw anguish in his voice tearing away at his throat.

“Kim Jongdae. My name is Kim Jongdae.”

When he felt his body being lifted up in the air, seeing everything below him getting smaller, Jongdae knew it had to be him.

The two soulmates had their eyes fixed on one another as the cupid flew them closer to the sun to feel its warmth.

“Sehun-ah.”

**“My sweet Jongdae.”**


End file.
